Lets talk about this eclipse.
Completely kicked my ass in the best way possible. It brought up a lot about spirituality and my creative passions, so I thought I’d talk a little about that this week.
I have been gravitating towards astrology, numerology, and synchronicity a lot more in the past two years, although they’ve always been apart of my life and journey. Growing up, my mom was really big on all this stuff, I mean walking into our house you could smell the incense… Erykah Badu is shaking. She had crystals, books on so many topics I couldn’t even name them all, and she always was into wellness. So, these things aren’t new to me, though it seems like my awareness and how they impact my life has grown like crazy.
Come to think of it, my spirituality has changed so much in the past two years. You see, I grew up in church my entireeeee life…like literally; your girl was in church before I came out the womb. My mom says that during praise and worship I would dance in her belly, so naturally she was creating a being that would have great spiritual curiosity later in life. The energy just surrounds me.
I have loved this being known as “God” as long as I can remember. I use quotations because I now know that many names like “The Divine”, “The Most High”, “Creator”, “Goddess” whatever you want to call “It”, It’s the same being/energy that lives within us and that we can find in anyone or anything. I used to think God was a man because in church I would always hear “him” referred to with male pronouns. That was always really weird to me; I just never questioned things much until high school.
Really, everything changed when my brother Phillip died. Last week actually marked his two-year death anniversary. It wasn’t because I stopped trusting in God or anything; It’s just that death changes your life. It is a mysterious force that causes us to spiral into the deepest parts of beings. This is when all the questioning, the deep convos with my mom, friends, anyone that was down to talk to me about spirituality and religion began. I found out my mom is way more hip to this shit than I thought. Even though my mom regularly attends church and such, she’s never considered herself religious. It is a practice/ritual for her to stay connected to our creator.
It makes sense though; a lot of the stuff she’s into is interpreted as witchcraft by religious nuts. She has so many stories about people in churches calling her “New Age” and disrespecting the tools she uses to connect to God as if these things didn’t exist long before Christianity did. Our ancestors used these tools to receive messages from spirit and have inner knowledge.
I’ve been learning a lot more about the practices of my ancestors actually. Along with that all the many different religions, philosophies, and practices and one thing is very clear- They all connect. I’m like a young Kirk Franklin “Losing my Religion” but getting oh so close to God. Now, don’t get me wrong, your girl is baptized and a believer in Christ. I serve no religion though. I’ll always give Christianity credit for setting the foundations of my spirituality, but you can’t stay on the foundations forever, you gotta build a house. I believe everyone has to follow the practices they are naturally attracted to, spirit always knows best and nudges us in the right direction.
When you have people constantly being forceful and pushy like a lot of Christians can be though, it can make you feel really confused, especially in the black church. Now ya’ll in the black church KNOW exactly what I mean. Actually, when I was just home for the holidays I was wearing this crop top sweater (so cute) and I went to the bathroom to fix my headwrap, cause my midriff to show. This lady deadass walked into the bathroom and stared at me for like 5 minutes yall, I am not even joking. Then she just slowly backed into the stall….the funniest thing I have ever experienced in my life. I mean, I make comedy of it, but the judgment and all can be really disappointing and sad. Our spirituality and connection to God is not defined but what we wear or look like. How much we attend some building, or what scriptures we can pull out of our behinds when it’s convenient but forget all the other things mentioned in the same books (yes that was a drag and shade).
I don’t know guys, I just refuse to believe that the Creator of the universe, of BILLIONS of people would only make on tool, one way to practice, or way one to worship. There is nothing in this world that shows that to be true. When there’s up and down there is also the middle. Where there is black and white there is also grey. Nothing is exactly what it seems. Shoutout to all the books like the Bible, The Quran gifted by my wonderful friend Gem, The Upanishads, The Eight Limbs of Yoga, etc etc that helped me to realize this. There is just so much unknown, so much to be left open to interpretation.
Now, I just use what works for me, what feels right in my spirit. I understand when people don’t understand it…it’s all-good. There has been so much social stigma and conditioning surrounding a lot of ancient practices thanks to western Christianity. My ancestors’ practices were ripped away from them and the labels of “evil” & “dark magic” were slapped on them. A lot of that still shows today ESPECIALLY in the black church.
My practices are languages of God; they bring us closer to her. Yes, I said her. It’s a direct protest of patriarchal contextualization placed throughout the bible, more so by people though. God is seen as a man which if God is spirit, a biblical concept, then there should be no gender placed on our creator. Until then, I’ll be using feminine pronouns. Feminine energy surrounds creation anyways. The mother, the womb, “Mother Earth”…it is all feminine energy. All this patriarchal bullshit that was restructured and interpreted to place control on women for centuries is overrrr. We are woke to this shit now. Divine feminine energy is rising all over the place and I think that’s why women are really pushing so hard right now for our rights and “reclaiming our time”.
I could talk about this all day; I’m really a junkie for spirituality if you can’t tell. That’s why I left religion. There was just no spiritual evolution happening for me. When I started to pay attention to numbers and synchronicity, use my crystals as a tool, and read, read, read my relationship with the creator strengthened so much. My life has never been better and I can clearly see the “inter-connectedness” in all things. We put the pieces to the puzzle together; it is all up to us. When I stopped letting others define how I should pray, worship, dress as a spiritual being, and how to believe…everything became so bliss.
That was such a major message for me during this eclipse period, to practice with no shame or guilt, to just simply live out my truth. When we live out our truth, we become these unstoppable forces, like on some Power Ranger type shit. It is truly a super power, because some people are still so afraid to live their truth. I am blessed to be able to do it at such a young age.
In doing this, I mean my creative passions just started to rush through my being again. School has been draining them a lot, but this eclipse also helped me to find balance between it all. Just like we have spiritual tools, we have analytical tools that help us with our creativity and our creative passions. Studying Law and Criminology is helping me develop my skills as a future film director and screenwriter. I get to study people all the time, so changing my perspective actually has helped me to fuel my passions rather than being drained by everyday life.
When you follow your passions and you live your truth unapologetically, then the mask comes off, another thing that happened during the eclipse period for me. It wasn’t that I wasn’t myself; the mask just was a shield from fully showing myself to the people around me and myself. I’m cool as hell; I don’t know why I ever did that. I mean I do, because who wants to be judged, or criticized for who they are? But now, I really do not care ya’ll. I’m just being a rainbow unicorn chicken head and doing me at all times. Don’t let anything stop you from being you.
The next few months is really going to be spent getting back in my creative flow, getting to know myself again, and connecting back with my inner child. This eclipse was definitely the strongest one yet, all the changes are coming through so quickly, and it feels like all the things I am manifesting are showing up just like that *Manifests 10 billion dollars*. No but really, let’s all tap into our legendary God given power and manifest up all the things we want and are ready to go get these next few weeks. Cause ain’t nothing stopping us but ourselves.
I encourage everyone this week to practice one of my favorite things, if you can. Look at yourself in the mirror, take a deep breath in and out and say out loud one of my favorite mantras. “YOU ARE A BAD BITCH”. Male or female, same energy being projected really. And may this mantra bring you great peace and flavor. We made it through another week, cleansed a little bit more, and we’re all working, all still here, and hopefully still smiling. If not, well I hope my post made you smile a little bit, if not….are you even human? So yes, give yourselves a pat on the back, do something for yourself this weekend, and be kind because life is just too damn short for the ugliness (I say this five minutes after getting sassy with a Barclays rep) but she had it coming ya’ll.
Until next week,