Sometimes, I don’t know where I’m going with this art thing. I’ve been pressuring myself so much to find a niche, give a message of some sort, and to be intentional when right now what I need to be doing is exploring myself. I’m still doing that as a person and I deserve the chance to do the same with my artistic craft. I think in and of itself is a message of its own.
I’ve been so structured and intentional that I’ve forgotten to enjoy the blessing of spontaneity and curiosity. I’m not so sure if the best things in life are planned, however, I am going to do my best to find out. Crawling my way out of the suffocating opinions of what everyone else thought/thinks I should do has caused me to face some of my biggest fears and revisit my oldest traumas. The ones that have shattered my soul, leaving me to pick up the pieces as I step into adulthood. I am recreating myself. I believe so many people in my age group are doing the same. We’ve all endured something that has completely reshaped our reality. It is formidable.
I believe that it is our responsibility to heal ourselves whole-heartedly. Not patching up wounds, but rather go into surgery removing the toxicity and attachments to our pain and suffering. There need be no rush in the process of healing, restructuring, and recreating.
As the summer commences and the tides change once again, there is a call to action for self trust, accountability, and confidence. If you can’t support and trust yourself, how can you live a life of authenticity and truth?
Stepping into adulthood has posed its challenges and struggles, though I find such beauty in it all. I think it blesses one with the space to fully step into themselves, their power. New habits can be created and a true sense of self can be formulated. It is a process, it takes time, and it can bring feelings of doubt, worry, and fear. The important thing is that we savour the transformative experiences.
I have accepted the fact that I literally have no idea what I’m doing and that my journey is a work in progress. Though I have a clear vision and idea for how I want things to go, I am giving life the space to work on my behalf, to bring me pleasant surprises, and to give me strength through the latter.
Life itself is an expression of creation, allowing us to paint our own pictures, sculpt the realities we envision, and to play the roles we think we fit. Even when there seems to be no one through it all. Remember to create your way through it.
This summer, I am opening myself up to the fluidity of change, ploying for the best outcome. I am allowing myself to be. To become. I’m not so worried about the future right now. I’m enjoying what I’m living in and through.
I am enjoying the process of being and becoming, simultaneously.