When I think of forgiveness, I don’t think I’ve ever been quite sure of what it means. It seems weird, to have someone hurt you so badly, so deeply…..and you just let it go?
What I am learning now, is that this process is not about letting go within itself or forgetting what that person did. It’s about not bringing it with you, into your present life and present circumstances of your relationships, especially the one wit yourself.
That’s weird…and very difficult.
Our trauma and hurts are often what we identify with, because these traumas leave such long lasting effects.
Feelings of violation.
When you identify with something, you always remember to carry it with you. So, how exactly do you release this and say, “I am no longer my trauma”. Rather, “My trauma was an experience, and I choose to no longer bring that with me”? What does that mean for your identity and all that you know? Your hurts, pains, and sorrows?
What does it mean for the future of your relationships, especially if this person is still in your life, and all you’ve ever experienced with them is pain and trauma? When you see them, you remember the encounters that caused you such anguish. When you see them, your body remembers.
So do we forget? No.
It means we choose not to bring it with us, in the present of circumstances or problems that arise. It means no longer will we say “You always do this to me!”, rather “In this moment, your actions are causing me pain.”
It is a reminder that all we can do is move within present time. Our past pain exists within the mind. It is no ones responsibility but our own to unpack it and let it flow away.
You can choose to carry it with you, weighing you down.
Day by day.
Week by Week.
Month by Month.
Year by Year.
While they walk on by forgetting what they invoked within you.
Or, you can choose to leave it at the bottom of the oceans of your past.
Let all that is new and fresh carry away the pain of the past.
You are free now.